All The Time

I think this song is my favorite I've done so far. I found it in a collection of acoustic songs I did in 2009 before I gave up on music for awhile. I kept the lyrics and chord changes from the original, but the organ and picky guitar line were inspired by Twin Peaks. I just started watching it, but I had the soundtrack in highschool. The music has stuck out to me a lot.
On a separate note I am having some trouble with my guitar. One of the pick ups isn't working and I'm not sure if it's related, but I was having trouble getting it to not sound muddy. I was also getting some static on some takes. It's probably time to save up and take it somewhere to get it fixed. I can't think of anything else of note at the moment. Here are the lyrics.

I watched you growing old in front in me.
you said you had such pretty dreams
I watched you dying in front of me
as you told me that you fought so hard, fought to hard

all the time you said we had
all the time you said we had
we never really had

I watched you withering in the breeze
I watched you disappear into nothing
I watched you growing old in front of me
you said you had so much I wish had something

I watched you dying in front of me
I wish you said... I wish I'd spoken up
I should go now
I should fade away into nothing

If only I thought of the right words
I wouldn't have felt like I was so apart.
I could have thanked you for
All the blood in your heart, in your heart

Gutterspeak

I made a song with my friend Wes (@FilthyZinester). It turned out pretty fun, took this week. It's based on the image that Wes created and he did the little poem part. I wanted to do a more bad ass guitar solo, but I am still not capable of it I guess. I am having major guitar envy, probably because of all the Ty Segall I've been listening to. That's a goal for now, research and practice guitar solos.

Regarding the other projects I am working on Growing Old. Which is a song that I recorded in 2009 that I found. I am trying to brush it up and round it out. It's coming in pretty short, but I think that's better than dragging out to much. I guess the song is about missing dead people, that's what stuck out to me when I found it. That and the slow guitar lead in the chorus which I am trying to recreate.

Dream of her touch is another old one I'm working on, The guitar is pretty good I think. I like the verse and chorus and am working on a bridge part, and getting it organized. I don't like the drum part and want to get some synth's going. I feel it needs to get a little spacey for a bit.

Last one that's getting anywhere is a redo on the Hypnotic song. I sped it up and fleshed it out, I still need to add a bass synth or something to fill in the low end and provide movement in the verse's. Then I was singing some C- Autre Nu Vuet garbage.

Trying some more

I was pretty burnt out when I was working on getting the songs from last year all mixed and posted online. I felt I may need to take some time off, but I guess a week is about long enough. I can't resist opening the ableton icon on my computer any more, and I'm back at the guitar and my lyric docs again. I haven't gotten real deep into anything yet, especially the projects I thought I would be working on in my last post. I did do another version of the song I did with @FilthyZinester. I added some moog bass and some more rhythmically interesting drums, in addition to some other small tweaks. The song in question is linked at the bottom.

I feel pretty proud of getting the 12 songs done and collected. The response has been a little disappointing, the play count charts on the site are pretty low. I expected some of my family to listen or something. What I was really hoping for was some stranger to talk to me about it or something. I guess really just some friends, which is ridiculous. Why would that be the result? Silly expectations aside I guess I am feeling pretty good about it and excited to work on some more stuff.

Done resolutioning

I am calling it complete, I posted on soundcloud and made a bandcamp where you can hear if you are interested. I didn't let myself revisit songs that I had mostly done prior to 2015 so that is a small bonus victory. I discovered that I think the songs sound better on bandcamp which I haven't used before. I don't know how to continue I think I am going to take a month break then go back to trying to do one song a month. My resolution for 2016 is less quantifiable, just stop becoming fatter and dumber. Just started a running program and trying to read more non fantasy books.

For music projects I'm planning I have a song from 2010 that I am polishing up called 'I Dream of Her Touch' it was my favorite song I had before I started trying. I have the song I was working on for December called 'I'm a Fucking Bummer' which should be pretty mopey and loud in the chorus, but I have no idea for the verse. All I had was an organ and a mini rant about suicide being embarrassing. I also I'm trying to get together a song called 'Peace' which I wrote at Adam's funeral.

Thanks for listening if you do.

December

I was running out of steam I think, I was way behind on November and was not able to get anything rolling for December. I decided to just try and finish this thing I had floating around and count it. Sometime this year I will try and finish I'm a fucking bummer, which is the original song I was working for December. This one has some words I don't really remember what they are, something like

Said I wanted to die, can you believe my nerve
Why does this life have to feel like joke
When is it gone
When is it gone

November

This one I was trying to brush up on more chord variations and sort of built around the A minor 7th thing. The words for this were improvised and then edited. My plan was to do a guitar solo in the middle, but couldn't come up with one. So I tried to add an organ, but didn’t like it. So I had the drums, bass, and guitar that I liked and wasn't sure what else to add. I did some effects on the guitar then threw a synth on it. IDK Trial and error right? whatever.

It seems like the way

She holds my head

Could save my mind

if I just tried a little more.

She said love is pure,

Love is the truth

you ever feel that way?

I don’t know I feel mostly ashamed

what’s it going to take

to make me feel ok

never seems enough

I should be made of stronger stuff

How did you get stuck with me

Can't escape my suffering

what an an ugly thing

I hate to be awake

the days are so long

I don’t know what to do

Maybe I should sleep a little more

she holds my mind

like it wasn’t all the weight

like it wasn’t all detritus from my mouth

oh take me away

She’s all I ever wanted man

I’m such a little girl,

I could totally cry

I guess I always was that way

How did you get stuck with me

Can't escape my suffering

what an an ugly thing

October

This is one is heavy Majical Cloudz inspired, I wanted minimal and vulnerable. What I actually achieved I don’t know. I don’t think I can sing well enough for how I want it. I like it though, but I can just glaze over stuff sometimes. The root of this one came when I was imagining playing guitars with someone and what I would play and sing. I scraped the guitar pretty early, I didn’t even record one when I set at this song. I was thinking of people I used to know, which I guess is a topic I dwell on a lot when I’m in a melancholy state I ran from Emily to Rudy and J bag. I had a reference to a Kilgore Trout quote from Breakfast of Champions and the lost highway movie which used to be important to me.

I see you

I want you, to know

I love you

I loved you

When we were friends

But distance changed us

Time called us strangers

I remember when, It was different

It's all like the ocean  

It's all like cellophane

We were trying to forget

that we ever had brains

You were my best friend

I should have let go by now

But I still hold in my mind

The time we shared

Along a lost highway

I thought of when we saw birds flying down

You said it was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen

We were at an age when we still said such things

it's feels so long

Since I've seen you

Since I've heard you

I still write to your ghost

See distance changed us

And Time called us strangers

I don't know what we had

I don't want to talk anymore